The popular athletic type
Never really held my interest. I can’t deny they weren’t fashionable and genius at swooning the ladies, but there lie the problem. They had elastic ego’s and I was looking for something less superficial.
I believe I wanted to tame the exceptional of the roughest personalities. Those types were always who I gravitated towards; the fraud who cloaked a bad boy exterior around a nerdy or softy disposition would succumb to my “sorry, I’m moving on” routine.
Those that were subjected to my rejections did not suffer, they would ascend to boyfriend status in another’s eyes. Meanwhile I stayed loyal to my risky criteria.
It was not brave
It was actually foolhardy! It’s hard to express that I wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box in the ritual of choosing a mate. It began to take a toll on me by way of the release of my proud independence. Not what I would expect, but a moment of enlightenment nonetheless.
Clearing the cacophony in my head, I was able to see my trademark error. I was losing my identity in the bad boy relationships I paid homage to.
It was not surreal
In comparing an apple to an orange, I would prefer to say it was self gratitude that removed the fluff of a ghoulish plan. But, it was actually the grace of God that put a man in my path, gave that man the strength to suffer through my destructiveness and removed the blinders from my eyes.
It was love
At a time when I had no idea what loves was, what it felt like or if I would ever have it in my life, God gave me a man; one who would endure the hard work to get us to a place that experiences the deepest, most profound, love I could ever imagine. Our years together have me praying for many more. I know that God will provide all that is necessary and needed, to us, for it’s Survival.
I also pray that everyone experience that love.
