Victorian Values

Victorian Values

After moving to Texas, in the early 80’s and fresh from my grandparents home, I developed a short relationship with a young man. He was living with his grandma and had no job. One night, while dropping him off, he told me we should get married. Being young, I laughed. He let me know he was serious, but all I could think about was how I barely knew him. He was living with his grandma and no job! Apparently, when verbalizing my concerns to him, he got upset (he may have gotten mad when I laughed at his proposal). He blurted out; “you and your Victorian values!” He also made it clear that we were not friends anymore. It was my first proposal and frankly the strangest!

Now that I am years older, I find I still carry those Victorian values. I am not sure what he meant by it, but the way I interpret it is the old school way I was raised. My grandparents would tell me stories of how a handshake was all you needed to make a deal; going against that was serious. Stealing was a high crime. Gossipers ripped you up for cheating on a spouse (If you were female) and the reprocussions were mostly snubbing and whispers, not so subtle, behind your back. Very unpleasant.

The harder you raise them the better

My grandfathers philosophy on raising kids, “the harder you raise them the better”.  More able to survive I suppose.  As a grandchild, I was never put to that test. I do believe there is truth to that, though. I also think that the problem with most of the younger generation is that they haven’t had to summon the grit and determination to survive hard times.

Young kids become adults faster when they are forced to experience difficulties in life. An alternative to that is children who are dependent and unable to process disappointment constructively. Most of the younger population example this.

How did we get derailed

Many times I ponder the hippy generation before me. All that love, peace, help a brother out stuff. Where did it go? It surely didn’t make it’s way to politics! In my mom’s generation it was hard times. Depression fall out. It seems like a girl had to marry to get out of her parents house. Then she had to grow up while raising her own children. Before that was WWII (World War 2).  Women were introduced into the work force, everything rationed out. Everyone struggled. My point being, there was unity in the struggle. People came together! One only need to look at Woodstock for evidence of that.

Now we are a nation devided. Victorian values feels like a long lost memory. We have evolved into schoolhouse antics, adolescent behavior and spoiled brat intuition. I used to think it was because only geeks and lawyers end up in politics. There still may be some weight to that….

History repeats itself

I believe history repeats itself. Given that, it stands to reason, if time doesn’t end and God wills it, we will find our way back to the victorian values that are seemingly lost. We will begin the give and take cycle that leads to the help-your-brother-out peace and love we should strive for in ourselves and example for others.

History will repeat itself. I look forward to traveling the United States, getting acquainted with what is to be our future. Maybe I can contribute in some strange indirect way.


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